


So Much for Silver Linings

by WaywardOneshots (orphan_account)



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Bunker, Family Drama, Gen, Human!Crowley, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Possible Character Death, Possible Decriptions of Violence, Season 8 Alternate Ending AU, Some angst, alternate season 9, human!Cas
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-08-11
Updated: 2014-09-01
Packaged: 2018-02-12 18:11:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 10,714
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2119743
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/WaywardOneshots
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"I mean, he's human now, I understand that. I do. But he's still Crowley." ... Dean rolled his eyes. "People change, Sammy." - An exploration of a Season 8 AU where Sam completes and survives the Trials, Crowley becomes human, Kevin is as conflicted as ever and the boys search for the truly important answers.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. People Change

            

 

            “So what do you think happened?” Dean asked haltingly as he looked over to Sam. “I mean, I hate to look a gift horse in the mouth here, Sammy. But people like us; we don’t get breaks like this for nothing.”

            Sam shrugged as he pulled the door closed behind him. He rubbed his eyes doggedly. If there was one thing he had missed out on during the Trials, it had been sleep. This was a fact that Dean seemed to have overlooked but Sam took it in stride. There was still work to be done. He took a sharp breath.

            “I couldn’t tell you why it happened.” Sam shook his head as he followed Dean down the hallway. “My best guess would be that Naomi was lying to you. I mean, she has royally screwed us in the past.”

            The expression on Dean’s face changed almost immediately. The corners of his mouth turned up as the eldest Winchester thought it over. Naomi had been a thorn in their side for some time now it seemed. What she had done to the other angels, to her family, had resonated with Dean in particular. If there were one black sheep up in Heaven, it would’ve been her.

            As Sam elaborated further his eyes narrowed. “Maybe there was a reason she didn’t want the gates closed?”

            “I dunno, man.” Dean said after a moment. “I just keep getting this feeling that it’s something more than that.”

            “You’re saying what exactly? That… _God_ brought me back?”

            Sam couldn’t quite believe what his brother had said. The idea was incredible but it seemed that his brother was serious. Dean shrugged as though the notion wasn’t too far-fetched. Being Winchesters, stranger things had happened. Over the past few years no one in his family seemed to have stayed dead for too long anyways.

            “I hate to break it you, Dean.” Sam said with a strained smile. “But I’m probably the last soul on Earth that he’d give a second chance to. I’ve done some things.”

            Dean had been grateful that his brother survived the Trials. Sammy’s time at bat had finally come up and he met the challenge admirably, but Dean was still worried about him. Sam’s decision to throw away his life, albeit for the greater good, was something that didn’t sit right with him at all. He had protected his brother for so long. But when it came down to it, Sam didn’t seem to value himself.

            He was about to say something when Sam stopped in the middle of the hallway. They were just outside of Kevin’s door. Sam stepped forward and reached out to knock. He paused as they heard a voice call out from somewhere inside.

            “What do you want?” Kevin’s voice dropped; he sounded exhausted.

            Sam glanced around for a second before catching sight of a motion sensor hooked up near the bottom of the walkway. It looked like Kevin had learned a few new tricks. Dean was the one who took a step forward this time. He nodded back to Sam with a smirk before looking down the hall. He had this. He knew how teenage boys worked. Kevin would be out of his room in no time.

            “You want some breakfast?” Dean half shouted.

            Kevin’s door remained closed and the prophet himself was silent. Sam looked to his brother after a moment. Dean’s confidence was fading fast. But it wasn’t long before they heard his brief answer.

            “I’m busy.”

            “Well _un_ busy yourself, alright?” Dean replied almost immediately. “You’ve probably been up all night. Working on the tablets or whatever. It’s time to fuel up. Recharge.”

            The door opened shortly after that. Dean took a step back, expecting the kid to be on his way out, but Kevin paused in the doorway. To say that he looked like Hell would’ve been an understatement. He was burnt out. As Kevin looked out in the hallway to Sam and Dean, he shifted suddenly on his feet. They could see that the kid was uneasy. And it wasn’t at all difficult to tell what about when they caught sight of a pistol in his hand and a freshly painted Devil’s Trap just inside the door. The two hunters were silent for a moment too long and Kevin sighed.

            “It’s been difficult for me to sleep lately.” Kevin explained as he set the gun aside.

            He looked back to the Winchesters after a brief moment. They had already spoken to him about their newest guest the day before. His time with Crowley hadn’t exactly been a happy memory for him. There was nothing that could make him forget the man’s involvement with his mother’s death. No matter how useful the boys thought he might become, no one changed their colors over night.

            “You look like crap, kid. Don’t ya think it’s time for a break?” Dean suggested as he took in the kid’s disheveled appearance.

            Kevin nodded reluctantly. His stomach growled at the idea of food. Translating the rest of the Angel Tablet had been his top priority since the fall. Taking care of himself had been a close second, maybe third, on his list. Any information that he could get regarding the wingless wonders would be infinitely more valuable as time went on. And if he happened to stumble upon the spell that would get them all home, Kevin was sure the world would be better off for it.

            “Something other than Snickers and bottled water would be great.”

            The door was already being closed when Sam cut in. “We’ll see you up front then?”

            The prophet paused for just a moment before nodding again. “Yeah, sure. Give me ten minutes.”

            He pulled the door closed fully this time, leaving Sam and Dean just outside in the hallway. Dean was the first to begin walking again. He shook his head. The kid on the other side of that door wasn’t in the best of ways. While he and Sammy had put up with a definite crapfest when they were younger, it was probably nothing compared to being a prophet. Of course things had changed now that the weight of the world could fit, literally, in the palm of your hands. Those tablets were the key to everything but the responsibility of translating the word and protecting it was taking its toll.

            “Did you see all that?” Sam said as he glanced back towards Kevin’s room. “It looked like he was preparing for another Apocalypse.”

            Dean took a deep breath. “Yeah, well, if we knew everything that Kevin did we might be a little squirrelier too. You can’t blame the guy for keeping on his toes.”

            It had been difficult not to notice the way that Kevin had been amped up. Sam wasn’t the type to just let things go, either. He had this look on his face that Dean couldn’t ignore. “Come on, man. We aren’t talking rocket science. You know as well as I do that he’s upset about Crowley being here. And he doesn’t exactly like the idea either.”

            “I get it, Dean.” Sam said after a moment. He frowned over to his brother as he thought things through. “But do we? I mean, he’s human now, I understand that. I do. But he’s still Crowley.”

            He sighed as they turned the corner; Dean rolled his eyes. “People change, Sammy.”

            “Isn’t there some part of you that thinks he’s just waiting to make his next move?”

            “I never said that we shouldn’t be cautious.” Dean reminded him as they slowed down. “That’s part of the reason why we bagged and gagged him for the ride over, remember? Crowley’s always had shady intentions. That goes for when he’s been on our side, too. I’m not denying that. And putting aside the whole turning-over-a-new-leaf crap he seems to be pulling, the dude needs to be watched.”

            Sam fell behind his brother at the mention of the word. “Watched?”

            “Yeah ‘watched’, Sam.” Dean said, not slowing down. His voice was rough. “Like a freakin five year old on a carousel.”

            “What do you mean, Dean, like me?” Sam said quietly.

            Dean stopped walking with a sharp sigh. He rolled his eyes before turning around to face Sam. Of course Dean had known that it was only a matter of time before they were going to have this conversation, but he didn’t like doing anything on an empty stomach. Sam continued speaking. He had been thinking about what he was going to say for a while now.

            “You don’t think I haven’t noticed the way you’ve been keeping tabs on me.” Sam said accusatorily. He narrowed his eyes at Dean.“Watching me. Studying me like I might break at any moment. I’m not fragile, Dean.”

            “So I shouldn’t be worried about you? Is that it?”

            Dean paused for a moment, he hadn’t meant to shout. He huffed as he looked over to Sam. The next time he spoke his voice was more level. “You as good as leapt off a bridge for the greater good. How, exactly, is that supposed to convince me that you’re okay? That you don’t need looking after?”

            “I was just following in your footsteps, Dean. I was trying to do something honorable. Like what you would have done.” Sam was the one who raised his voice this time. He sighed as he thought back to all the things that Dean had said to him over the years. “I remember you telling me that what we did, all the normal things that we sacrificed, were for the greater good. I thought you still believed in stuff like that.”

            The hunters both went quiet. Dean didn’t know what to say. He turned away from Sam and looked down the hallway. Crowley’s door was left hanging open and the former devil himself was nowhere to be seen. Dean instinctively took a step forwards, gun drawn, and Sam fell into step behind him. Their argument wasn’t anywhere near over, but when it came down to it, there were certain things that had priority. They walked down the hallway tensely before hearing a loud curse from the bunker’s study. It had been Crowley’s rough voice, that much they were sure of.

            Sam didn’t know what to expect as they moved forward. Between the two of them, the Winchesters had practically been keeping Crowley alive for the past few days on the road. Being human again was something that didn’t come easily to him. Besides his whiskey, Sam didn’t think the demon had eaten anything over the past few decades. After a few hundred years of being immortal, he seemed to have forgotten the basics. Eating, sleeping, drinking; the whole nine yards. And while it had been almost cute to hear him snoring in the back seat, the boys were worried about how often they picked him up off the floor; his body gave up on him quite often.

            “Damn this place. It’s a bleeding labyrinth!” Crowley muttered to himself. He narrowed his eyes when he caught sight of the approaching Winchesters, more specifically, the gun that was in Dean’s hands. He threw his own hands into the air mockingly before returning them to his sides. “Good morning to you too, boys. And it’s nice to know that at least one of you is happy to see me.”

            Dean rolled his eyes as he lowered the weapon. “How’d you get out anyways?”

            “You know what they say about idle hands. I couldn’t resist the challenge.”

It was Crowley’s turn to roll his eyes this time. They didn’t seem to appreciate his sense of humor. He widened his eyes as he realized that Dean actually expected some kind of answer from him.

            “I got…hungry. So I picked the lock.” He said as way of explanation. He watched closely as the eldest Winchester placed the gun back in the waistband of his jeans. Crowley saw Sam narrow his eyes. “What? You don’t just pass through Hell without learning a few trades from your cellmates, boys.”

            Dean shrugged. The guy had a point. Maybe it hadn’t been the best idea to lock up another human being. He didn’t exactly want the guy to have free roam of the place either. Like it or not, this was their home not his. And it was filled to the brim with things that even they didn’t understand. Damn it if he wasn’t going to let the guy be killed by some kind of machine. Dean nodded over to the former demon.

            “Okay, well. We’re actually headed to the kitchen for breakfast.” Dean said conversationally. “I was just about to fix me and Sammy some grub. If you want anything, I’m taking orders.”

            Crowley’s expression changed all at once. Sam watched as the man narrowed his eyes. He opened his mouth and then closed it again. Crowley seemed to be speechless but the effect lasted only for a moment.

            “I can get something for myself.” He said defiantly. “I’m human now, not dead.”

            “Suit yourself, man.” Dean said as he stepped over to one side of the room. He turned back to Crowley after a moment. “Kitchen’s that way.”

            The former demon took the direction without pause. He left the room in seconds without so much as a wave goodbye and Dean took it as a good sign. At least the guy was keeping up with what his body needed now. He turned back to Sam and the smirk vanished from his face. His brother didn’t look too hot. Sam had found a seat at one of the desks and looked like he was barely keeping his head up.

            “I do. Sammy. I believe in the greater good. Hell, I’ve died for it myself a couple of times now.” Dean hesitated to bring the discussion back up but he had something to say that his brother needed to hear. “But not when it comes down to you and me. I always put you first. Everything I’ve done, it’s been to look after you, and you just threw that away?”

            Sam paused; he hadn’t seen it that way at all. When the world was relying on you to save it, you didn’t really have another choice in the matter. He was about to reply when Dean cut him off.

            “Don’t get me wrong, man. I think it’s a friggin miracle that you’re even around after what happened. And I’m grateful and all.” Dean paused. The right words were difficult to find but Sam’s expression showed that they were worth it. “But we’re brothers, man. It shouldn’t have come to that. I would have found another way.”

            Sam took a deep breath. He seems to get it. He nodded over to Dean just as they hear a noise from the kitchen. It sounded like something had broken. Dean shook his head as he turned on his heel. Crowley had gotten himself in a bit of trouble the past few days and today, it appeared, would be no different.

            “Hold that thought.” He sighed as he left the room. “I’ve got kitchen duty.”


	2. A King No More

            It wasn’t long before Dean found his way to the kitchen. The first thing he saw was Crowley, who was stepping around a bit of broken glass in the middle of the floor. Crowley looked to the hunter with a bit of a scowl as he stepped towards the table. He didn’t look his best.

            “None of these damned appliances make any sense. They’re all, what, sixty years old?” He said as he reached for a half empty bottle of scotch. “I’m lucky to have found this. It’s the only thing around here that’s better with a little age on it.”

            Dean stopped himself. He took one look at the bottle and shook his head. He stood back and watched as Crowley poured himself a shot. The guy seemed to be pretty down in the dumps. And who wouldn’t be? He had been immortal. He had been a _King_ no less. And now all he had was a dusty room and a few people who were still debating on whether or not to keep him alive. Crowley downed the liquor in one go and set himself up for another shot as Dean began talking.

            “How much have you had, man? And what are you doing to yourself? It’s what, like, nine a.m?” Dean closed the distance between himself and the former demon carefully. “As much as I wish the human body could run on nothing but alcohol, it can’t. It doesn’t add up to much more than a rough week and a whole afternoon of not knowing your own name. And I found that out the hard way. Trust me.”

            Crowley didn’t seem to care too much about what he was saying but Dean kept trying.

            “I’ve been where you are.” Dean said as he stepped over to the fridge.

            “You haven’t.” Crowley grumbled over his next shot.

            The conversation went on hold as Dean opened the fridge. A quick glance suggested that they needed to get more supplies soon. Between a days old bag of takeout from some Chinese place and a handful of eggs, there wasn’t much to choose from. He grabbed the eggs and closed the door. Crowley was as cheerful as ever when he turned around.

            “You don’t know what it’s like to fall from a throne.” He rumbled. “To fall from such a position of power…”

            Dean smirked as a memory came to mind but he brushed it aside just as quickly. If there was one thing he didn’t want to do, it was brag to the former King of Hell. Now, Dean wouldn’t say that the man was drunk but he was clearly on his way there. Crowley was buzzed and painfully contemplative. He watched as Dean set down the carton of eggs beside his scotch.

            Crowley tipped the empty shot glass back and stared down into it as Dean searched for a frying pan and some utensils. His voice became somewhat distant. “You should’ve seen me in a crown, Dean. The Dark Ages were particularly kind to me.…Those were my true glory days.”

            “Are you going to continue being a friggin ray of sunshine or do you plan on helping?” Dean said after a moment. He put a hand around the bottle and pulled it out of Crowley’s immediate reach. He frowned and that was all it took. “Get out of here, man. Go see what Sam’s up to if you want. But I can’t fix anything if I have to keep looking over my shoulder to make sure you don’t drown.”

            “Fine, Squirrel. But keep your bloody hands off my scotch.”

            The glass was set down a little too roughly, but there was something in Crowley’s expression which told Dean that it had been unintentional for the most part. He stood abruptly and left the kitchen without much more of a fuss. His return trip to the study was a little more confusing than he would’ve liked to admit, but he did find his way there. And Sam was waiting for him. He took one look at Crowley before his eyes narrowed.

            “What happened?” Sam asked as the man sank into a nearby chair.

            “I need a reason to visit now?” Crowley said as he looked around the room at all the empty chairs. He paused for a moment as he turned back to face Sam. “Your brother, the Master Chef, wouldn’t lower his hourly rate for me.”

            Sam shook his head just the slightest bit and frowned. He could smell a bit of alcohol but Crowley seemed to be holding himself together pretty well. “You’ve been drinking.”

            “You should be dead. But you’re not. And here we are.” Crowley said, immediately appearing to sober up at the accusation. He watched Sam carefully and could see that something was still off about him. “Come on, Sam. I’ve done the whole song and dance of polite conversation. This is the part where you spill your guts.”

            His voice dropped just the slightest bit and Sam fully appreciated the irony of the comment. But he couldn’t exactly bring himself to show it. The brief silence that followed was all it took for Crowley to tell that he had a bite. He went on.

            “From what I overheard earlier there’s still trouble in paradise.” Crowley saw Sam’s expression change. “Am I wrong?”

            The hunter looked over to him with a sigh. Of course Crowley, of all people, had heard the argument he had with Dean earlier. Sam rolled his eyes. If there was one thing the Winchesters had all been good at, it was getting into shouting matches. Crowley continued on with a wave of his hand.

            “We’re in the same boat, you and I. Both shackled to base camp because Dean-o seems to have lost his faith. It’s always been the same old song. Doubt, betrayal, fierce independence. And it’s all well and good until one of you flies too close to the sun.” He nodded over to Sam. “Then there’s death after death after death... Pages and pages of it, in fact. I read your little series.”

            “You’re wrong, Crowley.” Sam had to stop him there; he shook his head. “Dean thinks that God is the one who saved me; brought me back. And I don’t know if I believe in any of that any more, but he does. He’s changed because of it. I can tell. But you haven’t. You’re trying to manipulate me like always.”

            “What was that you boys said earlier, ‘people change’? I’ve noticed that something’s off with you.” He said with a glance down to Sam’s still bandaged arm. “As taken as I am with not caring, quite recently your…well-being has become somewhat important to me.”

            Sam narrowed his eyes. For the second time that day, he couldn’t believe what he was hearing. Crowley had a difficult time caring about anyone other than himself. The sentiment was moving to say the least, but when Crowley’s expression hardened again Sam grounded himself. What exactly had the former demon meant?

            “Don’t get all dewy eyed on me, Moose.” Crowley said after a moment; he fell back into his old vernacular without too much effort. Sam rolled his eyes. “I said ‘recently’, come on.”

            “You mean, since the church?”

            The man nodded. “Do go on.”

            “What you said in there.” Sam tilted his head to one side just the slightest bit as he prepared to elaborate. “That’s empathy. At least, I think it was. It shows that you care about other people. You might even put someone else’s needs before yours some day.”

            “It means that you’re human.” A third voice said; Sam turned in his chair to see that Kevin was finally out of his room.

            Kevin stepped into the study quietly. He had changed his shirt but the prophet was no more awake than he had been earlier. Sam could tell from the way that he walked around the edge of the room that the kid was still wary of the former demon. As Kevin got a little closer he pulled out a chair to an adjacent table. It was close enough to hold a conversation. But he was also far enough away to have a decent amount of time to react should something happen. Kevin had found over the past year that caution was best. He had learned from a police training tape that distance was what kept a lot of bad situations from becoming worse. Distance kept a lot of people alive.

            “Or close to human.” The kid looked over to Crowley cautiously. It almost seemed like further explanation was necessary. “It’s a good thing.”

            “It’s sickening.” Crowley muttered almost immediately; his face wrinkled in disgust. “Things were so much easier before. Now I have to traipse around and care about people? Try not to step on anyone’s blasted toes? It’s ridiculous.”

            The hunter’s eyes went wide. His time without a soul was well-remembered. Crowley, on the other hand, appeared to be suffering under the weight of his newfound conscience. Like he told Sam in the church, he had lived for a long time. There were so many thingsthat he had done wrong. He watched as the man put a hand to his head in irritation. But Sam wasn’t the only one keeping an eye on Crowley.

            Kevin seemed to relax for a moment as the former demon closed his eyes. The kid still had a lot on his plate. It was something Sam could identify with, honestly. But he didn’t think that anyone in the room could handle the added stress. Dean had advised the kid to keep away from Crowley the day before. To be more specific, he said the two were like something from the Cold War. They were nukes just sitting around and waiting to go off. For the most part, Sam had agreed with his brother’s advice. The last thing the bunker needed was a brawl, especially when things outside were so bad.

            They heard footsteps just as the room became uncomfortably quiet. Sam was the first to lay eyes on his brother as Dean rounded the corner with a handful of plates. He had something near a smile on his face as he approached the rag-tag group. “Order up.”

            Kevin watched as the hunter set down a plate in front of him. He could tell that Dean had put some effort into breakfast, but he didn’t feel so hungry after all. The kid picked up his fork anyways. He needed energy if he was going to get anywhere with the tablets. They were his only priority now. Anything else would have to wait. Kevin slowly began eating but was careful to keep Crowley in his sights.

            Dean placed the next plate in front of Sam before turning back towards the kitchen for the rest. Crowley hung his head as Sam dug in; the fallen King was still lost in his thoughts. What he had said to Sam in the church… How much of it had been him, the real him, talking? He couldn’t be sure. Things had gotten fuzzy after round five.

            Crowley was so wrapped up in his thoughts that he barely noticed as Dean reentered the room. He came back to himself as he heard the dull thud of a plate being placed in front of him. The man looked across the table to Moose, who already had a plate, and then turned to Dean who was standing nearby.

            “What’s this?” He looked down to the offering, confused.

            Dean narrowed his eyes as he pulled out a chair. “They’re eggs.”

            Kevin looked over to the next table quietly, listening as he ate. The former demon went on to roll his eyes at Dean. Of course he recognized that. What he didn’t understand was what they were doing in front of him. There had to be some kind of mistake going on here. Crowley wasn’t exactly starving to death. At least, he didn’t think he was. The man had been quite content with his so-called breakfast of scotch.

            “Sunny-side. They’ve been a top breakfast item since, well, ever.” Dean sat as he explained further. “I figure you might as well get used to ‘em. They’re about the only thing in the fridge until we pick up more supplies. Eat. You’ll feel better with something on your stomach.”

            Sam looked over to Crowley as the man hesitated. Before he could say anything Crowley had taken his first few bites. The man ate without saying anything else for some time. He appeared to be enjoying the meal, even though Sam knew his brother used way too much salt. Crowley turned to Dean only after his plate had been cleared. He hadn’t realized it at the time, but he had been searching for something to say.

            “It’s not a problem.” Dean said after a moment; he looked from his plate over to Sam. “I cooked for Sammy all the time when-”

            He’s interrupted when his phone goes off. Dean searched his jacket for a second as he rose from his seat. One glance at the screen tells him that it’s a number he doesn’t recognize. He sighed before answering; he was damn tired of telemarketers. Dean was pleasantly surprised to hear a voice that he recognized.

            “Cas?”

 


	3. Hope

        Sam looked up from his plate at the mention of the angel. The whole room paused as Dean listened carefully to the voice on the other end of the line. He looked overwhelmed. It was like he couldn’t keep up with what he was being told. He put out his hand and motioned for Sam to keep an eye on everyone before he stepped out of the room.

        “Slow down. No, man, you listen to me. Are you okay?” There was a pause and they heard only a little more before Dean walked out of earshot. “Well, are you close by? Do you know where you are?”

        The three went back to their own business. Sam looked from where Dean had been and then over to Crowley. He didn’t know what to tell them. After everything that had happened, there wasn’t much of a playbook left to follow. There was no help coming from Heaven and, hopefully, no more trouble coming out of Hell.

        Kevin stood and began collecting the plates; Sam handed over both his and Crowley’s to the kid. “I’ll go take care of this.” He told Sam as he brought the dishes together.

        The prophet made his way towards the kitchen without so much as a glance to Crowley. And it was easy for the former demon to pick up on the not so subtle distance that was strictly being kept. He didn’t have a chance to say anything before Kevin left the room. Crowley tilted his head as he looked over to Sam.

        “What did I do?”

        Sam’s forehead creased. What hadn’t the man done? He was about to say something when Dean stepped back into the study. Any chance of a conversation between the two immediately vanished. They turn to Dean as he placed his phone back into his pocket. His expression led Sam to believe that the phone call hadn’t been full of good news. It hadn’t been very long at all either. Sam began speaking.

        “What happened to Cas?” Sam asked; his eyes narrowed. “You didn’t talk with him too long. Is everything alright?”

        “He ran out of quarters. The guy’s human too now.” There was a sigh as Dean replied; he looked up to Kevin as he came back in from the kitchen. “Turns out, Metatron was more of a douche bag than we thought. He stole Cas’ Grace; ripped it right from his friggin throat. Apparently that means no wings, no harp... But most importantly: no zapping back and forth.”

        Crowley narrowed his eyes. This little piece of news changed the score in a big way. They were down one angel and one king. Even though the Hell Gates had been successfully closed there was still quite a mess at their doorstep. Angels were, quite literally, dropping like flies. Nothing was going their way.

        Kevin asked the next logical question. “What does that mean for us exactly?”

        Dean shook his head; he knew he was about to say something that the kid wasn’t going to like. “It means that you have to hold down the fort while I’m gone.”

        The decision was something that Sam didn’t exactly approve of. He heard something in Dean’s voice that made Sam feel that he was specifically talking to Kevin. What had been said earlier about not being fragile had gone in one ear and out the other. Sam wasn’t surprised. His brother usually bulldozed over everyone else’s opinions. Dean didn’t want to hear any arguments but he was challenged just the same.

        “You shouldn’t just leave. There’s stuff, research, that needs to be done here.” Kevin said after a moment. “We still don’t know what closing the Gates of Hell actually did. We don’t know what happens when Heaven is emptied out.”

        “Thanks but no thanks, Kev. There’s a guy riding the wire for us out there with no safety net.” Dean shook his head as he explained further. Crowley could tell that Kevin’s argument was failing; anyone could see that Dean was preparing to leave regardless of the conversation’s supposed victor. “I’m no fallen angel but if I woke up one morning deep fried, I would want to find the asshat responsible for it all.”

        He took a step towards the stairs as he continued. “Up until a few hours ago, Cas was working with that same son of a bitch. I’m sure there are plenty of God Squad members out there looking for him. And they’re completely pissed.”

        Sam could understand that Dean felt responsible for the guy. He had always had a more profound bond with the angel than Sam had, and Sam got that. But Dean was distracted by him. There was so much more to the whole situation than they even knew to ask themselves. Kevin shook his head as Dean turned to leave. The prophet wanted to get back to his work as quickly as he could. He wasn’t going to just rush into things.

        “Where are you headed?” Sam asked as he rose from his chair finally. He seemed to be a little unsteady from lack of sleep, Dean could tell, as he reached out to the stair railing for support. “I’m not going to stop you, man. The last thing I want is for the two of you to get stranded out there and not have a way home.”

        “He said he’s in Longmont, Colorado. It’s this place above Boulder.” Dean swallowed the counter argument that he had been working on. He could see that, while Sam was probably in no condition to back him up, he was offering to. The hunter shook his head at Sam. “I think I can make it there in four hours; be back in a little under seven.”

        They both knew the distance was practically impossible to travel in that amount of time. But if there was any one thing Sam believed in, it was that Dean Winchester could bend Heaven and Earth to get his way. He left without another word and was eager to get on the road as quickly as he could. The faster he got on the road, the faster he got back; which was definitely a good thing the way things were going.

        Sam sighed as he turned back to the study. Crowley had been listening in on the whole conversation it seemed. And from what Sam could see of Kevin, he was preparing to dive into his research without a second’s hesitation. The hunter made his way past Crowley with a tired limp. They all needed to get to work.

        “Where are you starting?” Sam asked as he stepped over to Kevin’s desk. He picked up one of the books on the top of a stack that Kevin had brought over. “‘Angels’?”

        Kevin shrugged tiredly as he held his place on the page. “I kind of guessed that things might calm down if we could get them back where they belong. Besides, Metatron kind of ruined my vacation. And my life. I want to stop him.”

        That made a lot of sense. Kevin wanted to be done with all that was supernatural. He had been since the day he stole his mom’s car and drove half way around the country. Sam understood him, probably better than Dean or anyone else ever would.

        “That leaves ‘demons’ for the expert I suppose?” Crowley said as a way of inviting himself to the conversation.

         Sam watched as Kevin’s eyes got darker. He paused for a moment before standing. Kevin excused himself back to his room after suggesting that he had forgotten his laptop. He disappeared and Crowley was left almost alone for the second time that morning. The former demon glared over to Sam with a look of pure disbelief on his face.

        “Am I really being cold-shouldered here?” His eyes narrowed as the kid disappeared from sight.

        Sam shrugged as he looked over to Crowley; he didn’t know what to tell him. It was no contest; Kevin had the right to be angry at Crowley. He had lost his mom because of the guy. He’d been kidnapped and tortured at his command. Crowley had a lot of things to answer to. And there were no easy answers.

        “You didn’t think that he was just going to forget, did you? What you did to him, to his mother…” Sam said after a moment. “Awful doesn’t even begin to describe it.”

        Crowley merely shrugged. The way he saw things, the boys wanted him to move on. To embrace being human. As far as he was concerned, he reminded himself, that had been someone else. At the same time he couldn’t shake the feeling that he was lying to himself. There was this heavy feeling all the way down his spine and he felt warm all over. Was that…dread? Guilt? It wasn’t at all pleasant. He looked to Sam for some type of guidance.

        He shook his head; Crowley recognized the more human side of his new personality seeping into the conversation. “What can I do? Apologize?”

        “It would be a start.” The hunter seemed doubtful of how much an apology would actually help the situation. “Dean says that all you can do sometimes is hope that things work themselves out.”

        “Hope?”

        Crowley tilted his head to the side in disbelief. The word tasted surprisingly bitter on his tongue. How could it have come down to that? Hope? Humanity had been short on one thing for hundreds of years and now he was being advised to rely on it?

        “You’ve got to be joking.” He muttered as he narrowed his eyes. “Do you two sit around and swap lines like that? Hope? Come on.”

        “You needed somewhere to start, right? To ask for forgiveness?” Sam gestured over to the hallway Kevin had disappeared down. “This is probably your best shot.”

        The study went quiet as they waited for Kevin to return. The kid found his old seat and pushed aside some of the weightier volumes to make room for his laptop. He opened it up and, as the screen came to life, Crowley paused. It was now or never but the words didn’t seem to come to him like he had expected. If he wanted to find any kind of peace, he had to try. The former King took a step towards Kevin as Sam looked on.

        “I’m…sorry for everything that I did.” Crowley cleared his throat uneasily as the silence dragged on. He turned back from Kevin in confusion; he was a bit angry at the little termite. That was supposed to have worked. Where was his forgiveness? “What do I-”

        “We should get to work.” Kevin interrupted. He looked past Crowley to Sam. “There’s a lot that we don’t know.”

        Sam took a hard breath as he moved away from the prophet. If there was forgiveness to be had here, it wouldn’t come easily. He stepped over to another desk and handed Crowley a couple of books and papers as he sat down. Crowley pulled out a seat to join Sam. He looked over to Kevin as the kid pulled his headphones on and knuckled down for what looked like a day full of research. The prophet continued to ignore him as he opened up yet another tab. It was going to be a long day.

        The three had been there for some time before Crowley got restless. He had looked over the papers Sam had given him regarding what they had on demons. It was all basic stuff. Compounds that, once introduced into the air, could keep a demon from smoking out. He found a log of the exact mixtures and percentages of certain metals that were known to bind a demon’s powers. A theory on how to expel a demon from its meatsuit by reciting verses from the Bible. It wasn’t the most interesting thing he’d come across, but he was surprised to find how much the Men of Letters had gotten right before being disbanded.

        Crowley skimmed over the last few pages without focusing too much on them. There was one thing about his new situation that he couldn’t ignore. He felt awful but there was nothing that could be done about it. He had appealed to Kevin for forgiveness, something he desperately needed as a human being, but it had been in vain. If he couldn’t find forgiveness from probably the one person he had damaged most, who was going to forgive him? Would anyone be willing to?

        Sam looked up from his book and stretched a little bit. He glanced over to a clock on the wall and sighed. Had it already been four hours? He looked across the room to Kevin who was still hard at work. The kid brought the Angel Tablet out of his room a short time ago and had been going over what was left untranslated a few days before. If there was anything that could undo what Metatron had done, he was almost sure it would be found there.

        Crowley rose from his seat and felt Sam’s eyes on him almost instantaneously. He turned one way and then the other as he stretched. Reading about something was great and all, but it was no substitute for the real thing. He glanced over to Kevin. The prophet returned his attention back to his work not so subtly. Crowley didn’t blame the kid for being overly cautious but he had already apologized to him. There was nothing else that he could do. He took a step back from the desk as that horrible feeling returned to him. Crowley couldn’t stay in the study any longer.

        “Where are you going?” Sam asked after a moment; his attention drawn from his book.

        The former demon tilted his head to one side rather haughtily. “Is it standard around here to hold hands on the way to the gents?”

        As Crowley made his way out of the study, he caught Sam roll his eyes. He walked down the hall, passing the utilities, quietly and with purpose. He found himself standing just outside the room Dean had more or less assigned to him. Other than the fact that it was on a separate hallway, his room was no different than any of the other living quarters. Crowley took a rough breath as he took a good, long look through the open door. There wasn’t much to see; there was a simple bed and a dresser inside. It lacked anything homey or personal about it. And, as Crowley crossed the threshold, he couldn’t help but feel that the place spoke volumes about himself.

        Crowley had been so used to the black and white of being a demon: overseeing deals that needed to be made, the struggle against Heaven for souls, his enemies, his lackeys... He had been so driven in one pursuit or another that he didn’t have much left outside of his work. And now that was gone too. He wasn’t doing too well as a human being. Whatever talent he had for it, he had forgotten some time ago. The way he had treated people the last time, even his son, hadn’t been admirable in any way. What made Sam so sure that things would be different this time around? Hope?

        When he felt his eyes begin to water his face screwed up in confusion. He was a former King. He had closed so many deals. He had been respected and feared. The man who had brought so many to their knees. And he was…crying. The former demon scoffed at the idea.

        “Crowley?”

        He could hear Sam call from some distance down the hall. He straightened himself up and wiped the moisture from his eyes with a muffled curse. God help him, he was turning soft. Crowley turned from the room without a second’s hesitation. Better Moose not find him like this; or anyone for that matter. He wasn’t sure he could live it down.


	4. The Team

         “Where are the others?” Castiel asked as he made his way down the stairs.

         “Hell if I know.” The hunter shook his head as he hiked it down the stairs past the guy. “Looks like everyone kinda dispersed; fled to the four corners of the place.”

         Dean set down the small bag of supplies on one of the desks before turning back to Cas. The angel had hesitated at the bottom of the stairs as he took in the room. The bunker was a sight. Books were left open here and there on the desks; some had been more precariously stacked than others. The others had really hit the books hard while Dean had been away. They had a chance to come out on top of all this if they put in the work. And an effort had clearly been made. Dean couldn’t do much more than hope that it would be enough. He shrugged and took a look at the angel.

         “You look like you’ve taken a real beating, man. I’d hate to see the other guy.” He said after a moment. Castiel was probably lucky to still be standing.

         “I was in a car accident.” Cas said plainly as he stepped further into the bunker, his bloodied trench coat trailing after him.

         “Just get over here, will ya?”

         The hunter pulled out a chair and motioned for Cas to sit. As he got settled, Dean leaned back to sit on the edge of the table. He began to rummage through the bag. Cotton balls, gauze, whiskey, bandages. They had the basics at least. Dean explained the situation as best he could as he got to work.

         “From what I was told earlier, Kevin’s holed up in his room again.” He said gruffly as he reached into the bag for the alcohol. “Sam’s been busy keeping an eye on Crowley. He hasn’t done too much damage since he got here. So everything’s in one piece for now. Home sweet home.”

         He took a shot of the whiskey before reaching down to Cas’ injured hand. Castiel seemed apprehensive at the mention of Crowley’s name. “He’s human? And he’s staying here?”

         “You sound just like Sam.” Dean hesitated for a moment. Maybe bringing the former King of Hell to their secret lair would backfire on them eventually. He couldn’t see the future; to be honest when one of them could, it hadn’t been a good thing. “But, yeah. I’d rather he was somewhere we could keep an eye on him. And who knows, outside of that sarcastic douche-y exterior, he might be golden.”

         Cas narrowed his eyes quizzically and Dean explained further. “He might have a change of heart. You know, give us some intel to work with.”

         Dean folded his hand over the angel’s as gently as he could and turned his palm upwards. The injury wasn’t one of the worst he’d seen over the years; hell, it was far from it. That didn’t mean it was any less painful. As Dean poured a bit of the alcohol over his palm, Cas hissed under his breath. He tried to pull his hand away. It was a knee-jerk reaction but he seemed sorry for it just the same.

         “I’m sorry. I-” He went quiet as Dean met his eyes.

         “Dude, it’s fine.” The hunter looked away from him with a shrug. He set the bottle down on the table. “I know you didn’t exactly volunteer for this whole humanity gig. But I can’t be here all the time to stitch you up. You just need to learn to roll with the punches, alright?”

         “I suppose acquiring that skill would be useful.” The angel said thoughtfully as he tilted his head to one side.

         Cas looked up from his hand to Dean, who rolled his eyes. He could tell that underneath whatever else, the hunter was angry. As far as Cas was concerned he had a right to be. Metatron had, in many ways, ‘screwed them over’ as Dean would say. Castiel himself was without Grace; he had watched helplessly as his own brothers and sisters fell from the sky. Heaven had been forcefully emptied out. There was no way of knowing the repercussions that would result because of the actions of a single angel. How could something so misguided have happened on his watch?

         He bit his lip as the last of the alcohol ran off his palm. Cas reminded himself that even though the actions of one man had done something so evil, the actions of another had done something never before imagined. Sam Winchester had succeeded in closing the Gates of Hell. Though how exactly he had survived the process was still an unknown, everyone seemed to accept it. The general consensus was that Naomi and Metatron had been lying. But something about the way Dean held himself gave Cas the impression that it had been something else entirely. He could tell that Dean still had his soul, but he couldn’t be sure that there hadn’t been a claim made on it for further down the road. He watched Dean carefully as the guy reached down for some gauze.

         “Dean?” He hesitated; if Dean had made a deal to bring Sam back, he wasn’t sure that he wanted to know. “Can I make an inquiry?”

         “You just did but sure, go ahead and shoot.” Dean huffed with a determined smile.

         “How is it that Sam survived?”

         The question was something that Dean had initially been avoiding. He hadn’t wanted to think about all the things that still could go wrong. Hell, he was almost expecting to wake up any moment now to find out that Sam had actually died in the Godforsaken church. He sighed.

         “I’m not sure.” That was something he didn’t say too often. “But after he did it, cured Crowley, he collapsed. I swear to God that his heart stopped. And then he just opened his eyes like nothing happened.”

         Dean turned Cas’ hand in his as he worked a strip of gauze around the guy’s knuckles. He shook his head at the thought. He wasn’t sure who had saved his brother but as far as Divine Intervention went, God was top of the list. After all, he’d put Cas back in one piece. The angel looked up to him at the mention of his Father. He saw the man’s eyes wander.

         “You believe that God brought Sam back?” There was something in Cas’ voice that sounded a bit skeptical.

         The hunter shrugged as he finished wrapping up Cas’ hand. He placed the rest of the gauze to one side of the table as he let the angel’s hand fall from his. Dean wasn’t sure what to think if an angel had lost his faith. His face fell the slightest bit.

         “Yeah, but no one would really know if he’s back or not, right?” Dean said hopefully. “You haven’t heard anything major going down on Angel Radio? Or do you still have that?”

         “I do. But the voices are so many, they’re like white noise. They’re all angry and confused. It’s difficult to process.” Cas shook his head. “If anyone did know of God’s return, the information would likely be lost amongst the other voices.”

         He inspected the dressing as he thought back to the Fall. The angels had all been unprepared, to say the least. Many of his brothers and sisters had still been in Heaven during the incident. He, and so many humans across the world, had seen hundreds of thousands of them plummet to the ground. They had woken up angry, confused. And while many had been more than outspoken about their fears, so many others had been too afraid to say anything. They were all so far away from home.

         One had been clearer to Cas than any of the others; but the voice hadn’t belonged to an angel. He hesitated to bring it up to Dean. “There was one voice that stood out.”

         Dean narrowed his eyes as he looked over to the angel. He didn’t know what the guy was waiting for until Dean too heard footsteps. He shifted from his place on the edge of the table and turned to face the hall. The two look over just in time to find Crowley entering the study.

         The former demon hesitated as his eyes locked with the angels. He slowed down as he approached. There was only one thing that he didn’t understand as he stepped into the study. Castiel was watching him very attentively, more so than usual. And Crowley himself felt something was off about the way the room had quieted upon his arrival.

         “Hope I’m not interrupting anything too steamy here, boys.” He looked between Castiel and the hunter as he searched for the proper words. “Or sacrilegious for that matter.”

         Castiel narrowed his eyes just the slightest bit at that. But of the two of them, Dean seemed to take the words to heart. The hunter rolled his eyes as he stood. He took a step forward and was about to challenge Crowley when Cas interrupted his train of thought.

         “Your faith…” Castiel didn’t know how to pronounce his disbelief. “Is inspiring.”

         Dean narrowed his eyes as he looked from Crowley to Cas. What, exactly, was he hearing? That Crowley had…faith? In what? Whiskey? “What are you saying, Cas?”

         The angel looked back to Dean as Crowley opened his mouth to protest. “His voice was the one that I heard; he was praying.”

         It seemed improbable, but after everything else that’d happened, it wasn’t like it was impossible. That had certainly been a revelation. Dean turned back to the guy but Crowley looked like he was prepared to deny the whole thing. Like it or not, he was changing, and it seemed to be for the better. Dean pushed the issue aside.

         “What are you doing out here anyways, man?” He didn’t think the guy had simply wandered up to welcome them out of the newfound kindness of his heart. There was always some kind of angle that was being played. “Where’s Sam?”

         Crowley tilted his head to one side as he went on to defend himself. “I’m not his keeper; and if I recall correctly, you seem to have an entirely different dog at the end of your leash, mate.”

         Dean narrowed his eyes even further as he stepped forward. He didn’t have to take any of what Crowley was dishing out. And he certainly didn’t want any of this going down in front of Cas. The former demon sneered at him in an attempt to goad him into a fight; Dean stepped down just as Kevin and Sam entered the room.

         Kevin had a backpack on his shoulders and a gym bag in one of his hands. Between the bottled water sticking out of one and the shirt that was hanging out of the other, it was plain to see that Kevin was preparing for an extended trip to God knows where. Sam was on his heels as he exited the hallway.

         “You should stay here, Kevin. There’s no way for us to know just how bad it’s gonna be for you out there.” Sam said as he followed the kid into the study. “The bunker is the safest place for you, for anyone.”

         Kevin rolled his eyes as he turned back to Sam. “I can’t just sit here and do nothing.”

         “You aren’t doing nothing, Kev. You’re the only one that can translate those damn tablets for us.” Dean stepped forward. “And, in case you hadn’t noticed, they’re the best lead we’ve got on opening those pearly gates back up.”

         “I’m burnt out, Dean.” He said as honestly as he could; his gaze wandered from the staircase to Castiel and then to Crowley before he focused on Dean once again. “The tablets aren’t making any sense. And up until a few days ago, I was out, remember? I was done with all of this supernatural bullshit.”

         Crowley’s eyes widened, he seemed to be almost impressed by the little blighter.

         “What about the fallen angels?” Kevin continued on. He was in a bad mood to say the least; the kid was worn out. He was tired of being dragged through the mud by the Winchesters and every other supernatural thing out there. “What are we supposed to do about them in the meantime? They’re out there, probably destroying someone else’s life, and we aren’t going to stop them?”

         Dean hadn’t expected that Kevin would be so upset. “I never said that-”

         He couldn’t get a word in edgewise as Kevin continued. “And the Hell Gates? What happened to all the people that the demons were possessing? Sure, some of them probably died; the ones who didn’t don’t know what the hell to do now. They’re probably out of their minds.

         “A-And the murders, the rapists, everyone that was meant to go to Hell… What if they can’t? Are there going to be poltergeists killing people all over the world because they don’t have anywhere to go?” Kevin found that his courage was waning. “The world is probably going to shit all over again. And you’re telling me to wait it out like its rain?”

         The kid had a point as far as Dean was concerned. There was a lot they didn’t know about the world now; a lot that they couldn’t even speculate on. And Dean himself had gotten quite tired of coming in after something had happened to sweep up the mess. But there was no way to tell what would be happening out there until it had actually passed them by.

         “We aren’t doing that. We aren’t sitting anything out this time.” Dean narrowed his eyes and lowered his voice dangerously. He stepped forward towards Kevin only the slightest bit as he said his next few words. “We’ll keep fighting until the trumpets sound, if that’s what it takes to get the world back in order. But that doesn’t change the fact that we’re a team. We need to stick together.”

         Kevin hesitated; he turned back towards Sam after a second.

         “Dean’s right on this one, Kevin. Can’t you see that?” Sam brought his eyebrows together in confusion. “The angels that fell, they’re going to want answers for a lot of things. Whatever happened to me and how I survived, what happened to Heaven; they’re probably really confused right now. A prophet is probably going to be one of the first things on their menu.”

         He didn’t want to hear another word on the subject. The boys could all see that he was tired. Kevin turned back to him as he caught sight of Crowley.

         “I don’t care how safe you say it is, Sam.”

         He dropped the gym bag into a nearby chair with a huff. Kevin looked from his supplies to Dean and then back to Sam. It wasn’t like he hadn’t appreciated their support over the past few months. He was pretty sure that he would’ve given up a long time ago without them, actually. But their insistence that Crowley needed to stick around was his limit.

         “I can’t stay here as long as he’s around.” Kevin said doggedly. He turned back to Crowley with fire in his eyes. “What you did to my mother …to me-”

         The prophet broke off after a moment. He had built himself up and now he was freezing. Everything that had run through his mind for the past few days was disappearing one word at a time. Crowley looked to the kid expectantly, his eyes widening at the accusations.

         “How dare you! I’ve already tried apologizing, you little _termite_.” He said furiously as he moved forward. Dean was ready to step into action as the former King continued on his tirade. “I can’t change the way things happened. What do you want me to tell you? That I would take it all back if I could? That your mother might not be dead?”

         The room, as tense as it had been, went quiet. Sam tilted his head to one side as Crowley stopped himself from saying anything further. He opened his mouth and then closed it again without saying a word. Before he could say anything more, Kevin interrupted him.

         “What are you saying?” Kevin said darkly.

         Dean and Sam looked on as the kid took a step forward towards the former demon. There wasn’t much they weren’t willing to do for Kevin, but they drew the line at allowing the kid to torture someone. Even if it was Crowley. And even if he clearly deserved it.

         Sam set his jaw as he ran though the facts in his head. “You told us that she was dead.”

         “I’m usually quite consistent in my dishonesties but no, Moose.” Crowley said after a moment. “We’ve all been known to exaggerate from time to time to meet our purposes. That little grain of misinformation was meant to be something of a de-motivational ‘bite me’ if you will. An absolute heart-breaker.”

         Kevin felt his breath catch in his throat as Crowley said the next few words.

         “Your Linda is alive and kicking if those bloodthirsty little savages of mine didn’t get their orders mixed up. Again.” The former demon paused. “I’ll do everything I can to help you find her again. I know that it isn’t much. But I’m trying to make amends here. And I’ll keep trying…”

         He trailed off as he realized that there wasn’t much more he could say to the kid. Crowley was practically kicking himself at the display of weakness. There was almost nothing more he could do in the way of penance. Like Sam had suggested to him earlier, hope was all he seemed to have left. And that wasn’t much.

         Kevin took another step forwards and did something quite unexpected. As he reached out his arm towards Crowley, the man winced, but then he saw that the gesture was something else entirely. Kevin was willing to shake his hand. Crowley stared over to him in confusion. He understood the gesture, sure, but the sentiment behind it was like a foreign language to him.

         “I’ll stay.” Kevin withdrew his hand after a second; he turned from Crowley to Dean. “But just until we find my mom and straighten this entire thing out.”

         Dean was surprised at both of them. He had fully expected someone to be bruised and bleeding by this point. The hunter looked from Crowley and Kevin to his brother and then to Cas. A broken angel, a burnt out prophet, the former King of Hell, his little brother and him; they made one a hell of a team. As desperate as things seemed, they might actually have a chance at fixing things now. He turned to Crowley.

         “You know, if you’re really with us, if you aren’t playing some angle right now, me and Sam could teach you a few things about being a hunter.” Dean said haltingly.

         He wasn’t sure that he fully trusted the guy. Hell, he wasn’t sure that he ever would be able to. But Dean figured that if you didn’t have hope, you didn’t have much of anything.

         “You’re in the same boat as us now, Crowley.” He went on to explain. “Once you’re in, you’re in. There’s no going back. In fact, I’m sure there a lot of supernatural things out there that are going to recognize your ugly mug and want a piece of your ass.”

         Crowley took one look around the room before saying sharply. “What can I say, boys, it’s a fine ass.”

         He caught the slightest hint of a smirk on Sam’s face and knew that he might just have a shot at fitting in here. This whole humanity thing might not be so bad after all.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter, my dear lovelies, may be the last for some time. While Chapter 5 is in the works updates will be few and far between. But they will come.
> 
> In truth, this story had been requested from me and I had enthusiastically charged into it headfirst. These ten thousand words you've read were gathered together and proofed in a little under one week; about a month ago. I have yet to regain the momentum I had for this project but I love it just the same.
> 
> Adieu for now.


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